As the song ends, he launches into a whirlwind spin in the middle of the living room. Spinning and spinning, faster and faster, until…
Daddy Files
This Year, Leave Mom the F@#k Alone
For Mother’s Day this year, Aaron Gouveia plans to give his wife what she really deserves: peace and quiet.
To Spank or Not to Spank
“Deflection” and “positive redirection” have nothing on a good old-fashioned spanking.
Going the Way of the Dodo
Aaron Gouveia imagines all the low-tech things that will be extinct before his son ever knows them. Like rotary phones. And books.
A Potty Training Catastrophe
Aaron cooks up a glorious scheme to help his son use the toilet, which proceeds to backfire (literally) all over him.
Behind Enemy Lines
When Aaron Gouveia entered the land of parenting groups, he got the cold shoulder.
The Never Ending Job
If every dad had to interview for the job, it might go something like this.
(Bleeping) Car
Traffic came to a halt and we stopped. I let out a sigh and some grumblings. But I was not ready for the little voice that chirped from the backseat.
The Trojan Christmas
“Merry Christmas, sweetie. Those should last you, what? A week?” my mom chirped cheerfully.
Outbreak!
Until yesterday I had no idea how bad our malodorous monkey problem had become.
Scared Sh*tless
I gave my son such a start that he crapped himself. That’s right. I’m a father who has literally scared the shit out of his son.