The Good Men Project

Death by Script

 

By Omeleto

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There’s a script going around Hollywood that’s poorly written and ludicrously plotted. Yet somehow it keeps making the rounds on the way up in development offices throughout Los Angeles.

When one lowly script reader — the bottom of the rung in Hollywood — gets a hold of the script, he discovers why. Somehow, this script causes the death of anyone who passes on it.

And now the eager script reader must choose whether to risk his career passing forward a piece of mediocre work to his demanding boss — or risk his life and pass on what he knows is a sub-par piece of work.

Slick, clever and with a glossy sheen, like much of Hollywood itself, this thriller comedy by writer-director Jason Kessler is a sharp, funny commentary on the high stakes of Hollywood, a place where getting your work in the hands of just the right person can be the difference between languishing in the ranks and rising to success.

Self-aware and satirical, the plot is like “The Ring, but with a script,” as one of the characters says in the short. And like many films about Hollywood, there’s a zing and patter to the performances, dialogue and pacing that mirrors the snappy ethos and mores of the movie industry denizens that populate its world.

There’s great fun in the characters’ professional judgment of the script, which has the temerity to use the word “suddenly” too many times within the same paragraph. A goofy movie-within-a-movie reenactment of the script riffs on the cliches of Hollywood stories, but it also offers a tongue-in-cheek peek at why such cliches keep happening in the films that Hollywood produces.

The comedy is often delivered through its dialogue, harnessed via the wry, skeptical responses of the script reader’s friend, who offers a running commentary on his position, choices and lack of success. It’s clear that his own lack of confidence and risk-taking has held him back, but now he must decide what’s easier to risk: his life or his career.

With its final plot point, “Death by Script” takes a cynical turn, offering a darkly comic reveal of the seething ambition lurking underneath the bright, amiable surfaces of Hollywood. Entertaining, fun and impeccably crafted, it’s ultimately about an ambition so toxic that it turns a script into an instrument of death — and gives new meaning to the phrase “killing it” as a euphemism for success.

 

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:07
[Music]
00:19
[Music]
00:32
yeah you look awful
00:34
I do not miss being an assistant hey uh
00:38
there’s an executive spot opening up at
00:40
marks company it’s gonna be like a
00:42
thousand people applying so you have
00:44
like no shot but I’ll put in a good word
00:48
okay stop being weird what’s up okay
00:52
just listen sounds a little crazy just
00:57
listen okay okay
01:02
so it’s the end of the day and Gregory
01:06
drops off a pile of strips on my desk
01:09
that I have to get to buy more yeah he’s
01:11
such a dick
01:12
yeah so I’m reading the scripts it’s
01:15
mostly crap from baby writers I get to
01:18
the last one that’s called my sprint
01:22
that’s an awful title yeah I know so I’m
01:26
reading the script is this gonna be a
01:28
long story because I might order some
01:29
pie no it’s just like already starting
01:32
to feel really okay just listen read
01:40
misprint it’s called death my script
01:42
it’s about a script that anytime someone
01:46
passes on it they end up dead so it’s
01:50
like the ring but with the script yeah
01:52
pretty much you read a spooky script and
01:56
got scared
01:57
just listen because I’m not finished on
01:58
it is this way I always had to cover the
02:00
horror scripts cuz you get scared no
02:03
it’s not you have to face your fears
02:05
dude do you still get nervous around
02:08
Gregory see this is why you haven’t made
02:10
the jump yet you will never get any
02:13
respect if you’re scared of your boss I
02:17
have no one else to talk to
02:24
you’re still my only friend out here
02:28
okay no I’m sorry tell me I really want
02:34
to know so you’re reading the script
02:38
so I’m reading the script and it gets to
02:42
the scene about a script reader just
02:44
like me sitting in an office just like
02:47
mine doing exactly what I’m doing
02:49
reading crappy scripts putting them in
02:52
the past pile and there are details that
02:54
are like it on like my orange mug or a
02:59
red stapler and no joke the exact quote
03:04
I have hanging over my computer which
03:08
quote it’s a new one I put up after you
03:12
left yeah but what is it it doesn’t
03:13
matter come on believe in the magic of
03:18
your dreams of course it have you
03:21
listening to how creepy this is I mean
03:23
it really said in an orange mug and a
03:26
red stapler yeah and it had that exact
03:29
quote word-for-word okay yeah that’s
03:34
pretty creepy yeah no shit here’s the
03:37
worst part
03:38
so the protagonist is about to put the
03:40
script in the past pile when the lights
03:43
flicker he puts the script in the past
03:46
pile next day what what happens thanks
03:53
the next day they find him again with a
03:57
red stapler lodged in his head that’s so
04:03
stupid
04:04
yeah I know like really really dumb
04:07
I know it’s just some bitter writer
04:11
pranking you it’s pretty funny actually
04:14
okay but I’m not done so I’m a little
04:18
creeped out and I go to put the script
04:22
in the past pile when the lights
04:24
actually flickered just like in the
04:27
script oh come on
04:29
no they didn’t yeah they did also what
04:34
do you do nothing I called you and I
04:37
came here brought the script with me
04:42
you’re being superstitious yeah you want
04:50
to read it no get that thing away from
04:52
me see okay why don’t you just go into
04:56
the office and put it in the consider
04:59
pile pass the buck
05:00
no I can’t why not cuz it’s bad really
05:05
really bad Gregory will fire me if I
05:09
tell him to consider this how bad can it
05:11
be
05:17
suddenly he hears the phone ring he goes
05:20
to answer it but suddenly he stops it
05:22
has the word suddenly in like every
05:24
single sentence okay or this
05:31
he looks back and forth suddenly only
05:34
moving his eyeballs his eyeballs to show
05:37
a level of a frightened earnest like an
05:39
animal being hunted which that kind of
05:42
is suddenly his eyeballs don’t mind
05:46
that’s not that bad
05:50
fine
05:52
hold on find some dialog my life is in
06:00
danger oh no I wish my dad were still
06:03
alive he would know what to do you mean
06:06
the one who died in that fire
06:08
saving those orphans
06:11
yes
06:14
Wow yeah well what if you just don’t
06:20
make a decision just leave it on the
06:23
sack Gregory says if I don’t get through
06:25
all the scripts by morning he’ll cut off
06:28
my balls and make you eat them mm well
06:33
that really sucks but um I’ve got to get
06:36
going I am meeting an agent for a drink
06:39
so good luck with that what are you
06:41
kidding me
06:42
what am I supposed to do
07:18
[Music]
07:56
[Music]
08:04
it’s like an executive spot just opened
08:15
[Music]
08:29
[Music]
08:39
you

This post was previously published on YouTube and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

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Photo credit: Screenshot from video