I remember the very last time I attended a board meeting at my conservative, evangelical church. The group — all men of course — had gathered, and a decision needed to be made that required some legal advice.
“What a pity we don’t have any lawyers who come to our church that we can refer to for this matter,” Said one of the board members.
“My wife is a lawyer,” I spoke up.
“True,” replied the board member, “What a shame she is the wrong gender.”
And the rest of the men chuckled knowingly.
. . .
That was the moment that it really hit me.
For the past thirty eight years I had unwittingly been part of a patriarchy and I didn’t even realize it. It all seemed so normal. Perhaps the fact that I am privileged enough to be a white, heterosexual male caused me to not notice the system skewed so heavily against every else who is not.
However, at that moment, I paused and asked myself, “Do I really want my beautiful, young daughters to grow up in this system?” The answer was a resounding, “No!” We left that church soon after.
What is a Patriarchy?
A patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of leadership, moral authority and social privilege. The patriarchy that I was a part of was a particular conservative, evangelical church, but a patriarchy can exist in any organization, from the highest office in the country — that would be Donald Trump’s office — down to your own household.
Once upon a time, the idea that power and leadership was ascribed to men by virtue of their gender alone was widely accepted. In some cultures it still is. However, as the modern, Western world continues its relentless and necessary march towards equality, patriarchal structures and systems are quite rightly viewed as unacceptable and outdated. Still, those who stand to lose the most by the deconstruction of patriarchal systems — namely conservative men — won’t go down without a fight. Nowhere is this more evident than in the church, when some men will fight tooth and nail to protect their turf.
Why Patriarchy Flourishes in the Church
Churches are fertile soil for patriarchies to thrive because in some Christian circles, patriarchy is not seen as a social phenomenon — and an outdated one at that — but as a God-given directive for the flourishing of humanity. As a result, in some churches, there is an unwavering and unquestioned commitment to the patriarchy — even among women.
Many Christian churches ascribe to a form of “benevolent patriarchy” commonly known as Complementarianism. This belief gives men the role of authority over the wife and children, and only allows men to be church leaders. Women are expected to submit unilaterally to men, fathers, husbands, pastors. While many churches who hold to this view, do encourage men to sacrificially lead their wives, there is still a power differentiation where men are given the final say.
This creates a context for the objectification, devaluing and even abuse of women. Since abuse is motivated by power and control, and patriarchy is a system based on power and control, it is not surprising that abuse is far too common in these circles. Even writer Jason Meyer from The Gospel Coalition (a mainstream Complementarian parachurch organization) states that Complementarianism asks women to “take the most vulnerable position,” and that can “quickly become a dangerous position when [these] views get distorted.”
I, for one, can’t imagine a situation where a white, heterosexual, conservative, Christian male would ever be willing to voluntarily submit themselves to the most vulnerable position and yet, somehow, that’s the role that is imposed on women in some conservative Christian circles.
Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash
Is Your Church a Patriarchy?
Fortunately, it’s fairly easy to spot a patriarchal church system. There are some tell-tale signs to look for. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Who is in really in charge?
If the leader of your church happens to be a man that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in a patriarchal system. However, take a look at the second level of leadership — namely the church board, or elders. These are the real decision-makers. In my previous church, they were all men, and only men were allowed to be nominated. Moreover, these men had to be married, and generally middle-aged or older.
The church leadership ensured that this arrangement carried on in perpetuity by using an obscure passage from the biblical book of Titus 1:6:
They took this verse to mean that men and only men — specifically married men — can be church leaders, with scant regard for the culture and context in which it was written. In patriarchal churches, verses like this one are elevated to the level of a near-gospel-like absolute.
Who is allowed in the pulpit?
Take a look at who is allowed in your pulpit? Ever seen a female preach or preside over the Lord’s Supper? In patriarchal churches, the pulpit is the domain of males, as if being male automatically makes one more qualified to teach. Again, patriarchal churches use esoteric biblical texts removed from their cultural context and apply them verbatim to the modern day. “I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority” (1 Timothy 2:12) is a favorite of the gatekeepers of the misogynist boy’s club that is patriarchal church leadership.
Don’t get me wrong! There are definitely Biblical laws that should be applied in all situations — Moral laws like, “Thou shalt not steal,” is a good example. But, when you take cultural law that is clearly intended for particular culture in a particular place at a particular time and apply it to now, you end up becoming an oppressor. Or, as my theology lecturer used to say, “If you take a text out of context, you’re left with a con.”
Is the language overwhelmingly masculine?
The Bible is full of powerful imagery of the feminine traits of God such as the life-giving, protective, nourishing, comforting and motherly love God demonstrates. In a patriarchal church, the “feminine” traits of God are brushed over. Perhaps they make a rare appearance on Mother’s Day and such occasions, but generally the images of God presented are overwhelmingly masculine.
Sure, the Bible definitely uses more masculine metaphors than feminine in its descriptions of God. However, it is a mistake to assume that this is somehow evidence that God is more masculine than feminine. Rather, the greater number of masculine metaphors may merely reflect the patriarchal culture of Biblical times where women were largely excluded from official roles that involved civil leadership.
God forbid that we should entertain the idea of God not being engendered as a man. I heard of a minister recently who was lambasted by his congregation for daring to refer to God in feminine terms during his closing benediction:
The nerve! God is clearly a white-bearded, male, Caucasian, don’t you know!
How are biblical women spoken about?
From beginning to end, the Bible positions women as leaders in ways that were culturally ground-breaking at the time in which it was written. Women direct armies, defeat prominent enemies, save communities from genocide, give birth to God, fund Jesus’ ministry, sit at his feet as disciples, and are the first witnesses and preachers of the resurrection. They are church founders and leaders, prophets and apostles. Women are co-laborers with God and men, and image bearers of God who are meant to participate in God’s work in the church and the world.
However, in patriarchal churches women are interpreted into relevance in the Scripture. For example, if a woman is presented as a leader in the Bible, then surely it’s due to the failure of men who aren’t stepping up to their God-given right to lead. God had no choice! It was a last resort! Consequently, female Biblical heroes like Mary, Naomi and Esther are framed as submissive co-laborers or child bearers and used to influence women in modern congregations to be the same. Moreover, it’s typical for pastors and church leaders in patriarchal churches to read the Bible in a way that promotes submission and obedience to men.
Image by diego_cervo on Envato Elements
Where do the women serve?
Take a good look around your church and take stock of where the women are actually serving in ‘ministry.’ In a patriarchal church, women generally occupy positions that are ‘behind the scenes.’ You would typically expect to find them teaching or minding the children, preparing morning tea following Sunday services or arranging flowers for the sanctuary. You will not find them in any position though, which gives them authority to instruct or direct men.
One of the best known slogans of the Complementarian movement is, “Equal but different,” meaning, men and women have equal worth but different God-ordained roles in the home, church and, some even believe in society as well. Men are the leaders, and woman are subordinate to the men and function in service and support roles. This is nothing short of thinly veiled male privilege.
Whose voices are heard?
It you’re in a patriarchal church, then chances are women are neither on the board, or in the pulpit. So, it begs the question, doesn’t it? Are women’s voices ever heard? The answer is simple. They aren’t.
In a patriarchal world view, the “feminine” must be suppressed and brought into submission. Culturally based views of dominant, hyper-masculinity are praised. Anything less than “alpha male” is seen as “feminine” and in need of being dominated. This includes girls and women but also boys and men who are deemed anything less than “alpha male.” This creates an environment where women supposedly need men in their life to assert dominance over them, which easily creates a culture of abuse acceptance.
Women, like children, are to be seen and not heard.
Flee the Patriarchy!
Am I ringing any alarms bells for you yet? I sure hope so! Because the God I believe in does not condone the misuse of power for maintaining systems of authority and control.
Nowadays I go to a much smaller church that doesn’t really have any systems to protect. Everyone is equal there, regardless of their gender, race or anything else that we use to differentiate and divide. That’s the way it should be. We are all equal before the cross of Christ.
The idea that God would somehow ascribe the same intrinsic value to both genders but then somehow establish and ordain a system where one gender has an apparent ontological need to be led, decided for, directed by and subject to the other is thoroughly laughable. Only man would be capable of creating such a system — a power and control ideology that amounts to nothing more than sexism.
As Ashley Easter states in his article entitled. “The Equal But Different Hoax:”
Amen.
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This post was previously published on Backyard Church and is republished here with permission from the author.
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