Do you feel like you are being pulled in multiple directions each day?
Do you feel that you have to know the answer to everyone’s questions?
Do you feel that you need to constantly ‘prove’ yourself to yourself and to those around you?
Do you feel the need to take responsibility for EVERYTHING surrounding your job?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. In fact, this used to be me.
This past year has resulted in an enormous amount of change in my life. After great reflection, weekends in perfecting my writing, thinking about my values and my life, I have started to master the art of careful deflection.
When I first started my current position in September, I thought I had to know everything. I thought I had to be the leader and that I had to bring capacity to my role and to others around me. Although this expectation still remains a reality, I realized two things early on in this job.
1. We have about 3–5 optimal hours of work in all of us each day. Giving much more beyond that was doing a disservice to myself.
I am not talking about ‘work’. I am talking about ‘optimal work’ from an ‘optimal state of being’. You know what that feels like for you in your area of influence.
After about 3–5 hours of giving it ‘all you got’ you realize you have little left for yourself and for others. We feel shamed that we have nothing left for our spouses, children and social life. We come straight home and crash on the couch only to spend our fringe hours sleeping to recharge for another round.
2. “We can get used to anything as normal, just don’t ask how.” — Vickor Frankl.
Yes, what may seem the norm in your workplace may not be the norm in another. What is expected of you in one place will not be the same in another. Normalcy is a series of unwritten expectations derived from workplace culture. Sometimes that is healthy and productive, other times it is not.
After doing this evaluation in my own life I realized something needed to change. I was having a crisis of energy depletion and enough was enough. It was time to throw elbows for my personal time, energy and enthusiasm for my own hobbies. Although I was grateful and fulfilled through my work, I needed detachment and enough energy at the end of the day to pursue my own hobbies, desires and needs.
Once I did this evaluation I decided to become a master deflector. I stopped answering yes to many questions and began deferring and deflecting questions towards others. I began taking less responsibility and relied more on my team to get the job done. I stopped answering calls without appointments and I stopped speaking all together with anyone who did not have an appointment with me. I refused to give out my personal phone number and I began driving traffic to others to make decisions. I began giving less knowledge and information freely. I spoke up less, stopped staying later to ‘do just one more thing’ and the mental clarity was unbelievable.
Because I did this, it gave me the time and energy needed to write two books, work two side hustles, journal daily, do two workouts per day, travel with my partner and build a Non-Profit Organization.
Simply put: My deflection mentality gave me more capacity and clarity to mobilize greater things, with greater influence and greater impact.
What approach are you taking in your vocation?
Are you able to throw elbows to get what you want each day?
Do you even have values?
Are your values in order?
Are you putting your energy into your values?
These are some important questions to ask yourself and today is the day to ask. The sooner you align your passions with your profession and the moment you align your values with your energy outputs the sooner you will find yourself living out your best life.
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For additional strategies on how to become more organized, deflective and reflective in your life and vocation, I encourage you to pick up my latest book on Amazon: Thought Leadership.
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Previously published on “The Startup”, a Medium publication.
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Photo credit: Ethan Sykes on Unsplash
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