We all fall for random made-up theories. It’s easy to do because stories are how we navigate times of uncertainty. Stories help us to find purpose and meaning in all the terrible. If we weren’t making up stuff, we wouldn’t be human.
However, sometimes we go too far trying to ‘splain our crazy and inexplicable world.
Recently, I had blood-work drawn and donated blood. My phlebotomists were from different parts of the Midwest. They only had their profession and the fact that they’d both heard multiple conspiracy theories in common.
I asked Phlebotomist 1 (P1) how things were going in this crazy world for them. P1 paused and stared at me, as if deciding how trustworthy I was. I assured them that I wanted to know because I lived on the planet, too. That was all it took to break open the floodgates.
P1: “Have you heard about Umbrella Guy?”
Me: “Umbrella Guy? Oh, wait, yeah, I have.”
P1: “Okay, then. Have you heard anything about Wayfair?”
Me: “Wayfair? Um…that they were supplying furniture to the detention camps…”
P1: “Yeah, that one, but the other one…”
Me: “That Wayfair was selling kids? Yeah, that one is so far out that I can’t believe it.”
P1: “It’s a whole lot worse than that, the further I dig into it.”
Me: “Huh…”
P1: “Well, have you heard anything else?”
Me: “Have you heard about Portland?”
P1: “Portland? Uh…no. What’s happening in Portland?”
Me: “Unmarked Feds in unmarked vehicles are kidnapping protesters off the streets there.”
P1: “Seriously? I hadn’t heard that. Where do you hear your news from?”
Me: “Sometimes Twitter and Reddit.”
I know that these are not great sources of news — but they’re sometimes a good place to start to find out what happened on the planet, like Wikipedia is a good source to find what connects information while it’s not great source material.
P1 spent their spare time looking at conspiracy vloggers on YouTube and chatting with a conspiracy group online. He also believed in the UN’s Agenda 21.
Phlebotomist 2 (P2) had a different take on things. I sat down in the seat and didn’t have a chance to ask how P2 was doing. P2 started right in as the needle slid into my vein.
P2: “Have you heard that they’re going to make people, who take the next stimulus checks, get vaccinated?”
Me, slightly uncomfortable with the start of the conversation: “I don’t think they can do that.”
P2, diving deep: “I heard that Bill Gates is going to put microchips into vaccines so they can know where we are always!”
I held up my phone.
Me: “They already have the ability to do that.”
P2: “I mean, they’re making us stay home where they can find us easily!”
Me, holding up my phone again. “They can already find you easily as long as you carry a phone. Not to mention that they listen to all your conversations and watch you already, too.”
P2, undaunted: “They’ve been able to do that thirty to forty years, who cares?”
I shrugged because I was pretty positive it was harder to listen to us before cell phones were owned by individuals en masse. I do care about what my government hears and sees in the privacy of my own home because Big Brother does not have the right to claim my thoughts and private spaces any more than a random stranger does. No one wants to live in 1984.
Conspiracy theorists have broken open actual conspiracies in their quest for truth. But they’ve also spurred on inaccurate information in the quest for the “truth” they can’t prove. John Oliver published a great video about conspiracy theories and how to manage your own human need to find meaning in tragedy:
John Oliver’s take on conspiracy theories with a little help from his friends. Accessed 5 Aug 2020.
Too much has happened since January 1, 2020, for any one human being to process. Educated or uneducated, we’re all susceptible to the need of looking for meaning. We can’t help ourselves.
No matter how difficult things get, it’s important to keep perspective. Don’t deep dive for meaning into meaningless things. And remember, if you’re confused, it’s okay. The truth is out there.
Photo by Daniil Kuželev on Unsplash
References:
Pagones, Stephanie. “Minneapolis ‘Umbrella Man’ who sparked AutoZone fire is Hells Angels member: police.” Fox News. 31 July 2020. https://www.foxnews.com/us/minneapolis-umbrella-man-autozone-fire-hells-angels-police
Bhattarai, Abha. “Wayfair is supplying beds to Texas detention centers for children — and its employees are protesting.” Washington Post. 25 June 2019. https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/06/25/wayfair-is-supplying-beds-texas-detention-centers-children-its-employees-are-protesting/
Snopes. “Is Wayfair Trafficking Children Via Overpriced Items?.” Snopes.com. 23 July 2020, https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/wayfair-trafficking-children/
Levinson, J., Wilson, C., Doubek, J., Nuyen, S. “Federal Officers Use Unmarked Vehicles To Grab People In Portland, DHS Confirms.” NPR. 17 July 2020, https://www.npr.org/2020/07/17/892277592/federal-officers-use-unmarked-vehicles-to-grab-protesters-in-portland
Dickson, Caitlin. “Agenda 21: The U.N. Conspiracy That Just Won’t Die.” TheDailyBeast.com. 13 Apr 2014, https://www.thedailybeast.com/agenda-21-the-un-conspiracy-that-just-wont-die
Kaminer, Debbie. “Here’s how the government or your employer could legally make you get a COVID-19 vaccine, according to a law professor.” Business Insider. 23 July 2020, https://www.businessinsider.com/how-your-boss-can-make-covid-19-vaccines-mandatory-work-2020-7
Maestro. “Cell Phone Locator by Phone Number.” GPS Phone Tracker, GPS Phone Tracker, Inc., 2020, www.gpsphonetracker.org/.
Ehrenfreund, Max. “Edward Snowden says he leaked NSA surveillance program (complete coverage).” Washington Post. 10 June 2013, https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/edward-snowden-says-he-leaked-nsa-surveillance-program-complete-coverage/2013/06/10/1a6d525e-d1da-11e2-a73e-826d299ff459_story.html
Thompson, Austin. “6 Conspiracy Theories That Turned Out to Be True.” Mental Floss. 10 July 2019, https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/587232/conspiracy-theories-that-were-true
LastWeekTonight. (2020,19 July). Coronavirus: Conspiracy Theories: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO). YouTube.com. https://youtu.be/0b_eHBZLM6U
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Previously published on “Change Becomes You”, a Medium publication.
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