I’m proud to announce that I’ve finally completed the totally overdue re-branding of my professional site. You can now find me at www.baldwriterdude.com. How did I come up with that name? Simple. I’m bald. I’m a writer. I’m a dude. I put them all together, checked GoDaddy to see if the URL was…
My Daily Life
They call me House
“Because that’s where people with your type of insurance go.” I’m currently scared shitless. I know that’s not the best way to start a blog post, but it’s the truth. A little over five years ago, while having an MRI of my brain the neurologist found a tumor called an acoustic neuroma. The tumor…
The wrong side of 45
“Buttercup took the dirt nap.” Me Today I turn 46, which means I’m now officially on the countdown to 50. I really don’t care about the number, because I believe it’s about how old you feel. Unfortunately I have days where I feel like I’m 90 and others where I feel 17 and that I’m…
Dancing mailmen and other assorted nonsense
My daughter is 14. This is stuff I need to know. I was watching the Raiders game on Sunday morning, when it went to commercial. It looked like I was in someone’s house and I noticed the front door was open. Suddenly, Without any warning. The mailman came leaping in the door and proceeded…
Hal Jordan and His Merry Men
I’ll be straight with you. When I saw Van Wilder jacking off a dog, I never imagined the ring would choose him. That was some sick shit. It’s probably obvious from the caption above that I just saw Green Lantern starring Van Wilder hisself, Mr. Ryan Reynolds. Friday late afternoon, I’m chillin in my…
Screw it
“Holy crap. No. I’m not happy. Don’t tell me to screw it.” Wednesday, November 9. 4:37 PM My 14-year-old Drama Queen stays with grandma on Wednesday nights because I do my radio show from 8:00- 9:30, then come back to my studio to knock out 5 Minute…
Return of the vlog
Trust me. You’re gonna wanna watch this. It’s my first VLOG of the year, and with good reason. I have face for radio. If you can’t stand the sight of me, just turn your head for five minutes. We discuss my daughter’s first tennis match, a quick grumble at the BCS, then onto a…
Secret Agent Man
Grab a cocktail and enjoy. The daily grind is much quieter now that Jesus moved to a location that should triple his tailoring business. There are times I like it and times I don’t. When I remember the times he rolled back in after work with a…
Attack of the masturbating chimp
“Oh my God! The little bastard just went for my nuts!” Dick Booster Wednesday night’s radio show was decent. I think last week was better, but we’ve had worse. It was on OK show. Until 9:27 PM. That’s when it became really funny. At 9:27 PM our friend Dick Booster called in. He told…
Google Me
daddy I’m a hooker. All things are spelled and grammerized as they were in the Google search. If you blog, chances are you pop up in some pretty weird searches. Now imagine what you pop up in when you have the word, “Sex” in the blog title. Then imagine also…
Jesus and the Tijuana hooker
How much is too much for good pussy? Let me be perfectly clear about one thing. I’m talking about a Guatemalan tailor named Jesus–not Jesus Christ. I’m sure the Lord would spend time with a Tijuana prostitute, but I have a hard time believing that the Son…
Subway and Double D’s
“Hey. How’s it goin?” Is rhetorical. We really don’t care. It’s 10:06 on Wednesday night and I’m sitting at the counter in my hovel with my laptop open, iTunes blaring Stricken by Disturbed through my headphones and with a Subway sandwich on my left side. At my right is a mostly-full Pacifico…
Drama Queen’s first visit to the Scary Farm
The Halloween Haunt experience isn’t complete until someone goes to jail for being a dickwad. If you’ve lived in So. Cal for any length of time, you know that October means Knott’s Berry Farm’s Halloween Haunt is in full swing. I’ve been going to…
The funniest radio moment. Ever.
This was so funny that I nearly crapped my pants on air. Seriously. For real. One of our favorite callers joined Wes and I Wednesday night as a guest. Who knew that Dick Booster was an author? He has two new books out. Somebody’s Daughter: A Guide To North American…
Update to the State of the State thingie; Or, Rex grossman is a pussy
I walked out of the bar and there is a minivan with a daycare ad and phone number #classy So, yesterday I probably depressed the shit out of you with the story of what’s going on in my life. I sincerely apologize, but I had to get that out. Kind of like the…
The State Of My State Of Being Address
I’m gonna keep looking for him and when I find him, I’ll let you know. My fellow Americans (Canadians, Aussies, Brits and other assorted Euros), I come to you today to lay out the state of my state of being. I know I can be an asshole at times, but…