The next thing I knew I was sort of pinned back in the corner of the couch with her almost on top of me. I’d been in Canada about two months and had gone on a few dates. Nothing exceptional, but nothing overly crappy either. After my first attempt at the “Do you have some…
Dating
Getting funky
Tear the roof off, we’re gonna tear the roof off the mother, sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker… I’ve found my blog posts that mention Mexican hookers seem to have great stats. This story is not about Mexican hookers, but I promise that if you indulge me and read on that I will find…
Breaking up: “How To” & “How Not To”
I was rocking the argyle and in the 1980’s that may have been enough to push me over the top. The Actress was my first girlfriend and my first breakup. And my second breakup. And possibly my third breakup. I don’t remember for sure if we broke up two times or three times. I was…
My first date in Canada
Do you have some American in you? When I moved to the Toronto suburbs in January of 2009 I had some very high hopes for myself as far as dating goes. I figured that I was gonna roll into town and every woman was going to want a piece of the bald American. I was…
Fat chicks in bikinis
What I saw that day made me seriously not want to have sex… I am so glad that I don’t have to online date anymore. Life with The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O., AKA my girlfriend) is awesome. We have a great relationship and I seriously believe that she is “The One”. My love life wasn’t…
Tijuana with The Kings Fan
“Dude. I think this is a gay bar…” It had been almost a year since Original Crazy B**** (O.C.B.) moved out and I became a full-time single dad of a five-year-old girl. My daughter wasn’t known as Drama Queen back then; she was just a sweet redheaded five-year-old. I hadn’t dated at all since O.C.B.…
I’ve Seen Better Days
Now if I could just find the rewind button… Tuesday ended on a high note and Wednesday started with a ton of promise. The day ended poorly, but as you continue to read, you will find that it was mostly my fault. Here’s the deal… Tuesday night The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.) came over for…
Skiing with The 36-Year-Old-Virgin
She just smiled and asked, “When are you going to give it to me?” I loaded the Drama Queen into the Xterra and headed to my mom’s house to get the keys to her cabin in Blue Jay, CA. It was December 30, 2004 and I was going to the mountains with D.Q., The 36-Year-Old-Virgin,…
My Facebook Status
Who knew it would be such a big deal? It was a dark and stormy night. Actually it wasn’t, but as a writer I’ve always wanted to start a story that way. Snoopy used to do it and he was pretty cool. I figured if it worked for him then it could work for me. …
The Actress
“We were like training wheels for each other…” This story is old school. Really old school. From back when I was still in high school. If Sex and the Single Dad were a movie series, this story would be the prequel. It was the spring of 1984 and I was in the parking lot of…
New Years Eve Karaoke
“Just unlock the doors, so I can open mine. Start the car and don’t stare, baby.” At 8:53 PM on New Years Eve my cell phone beeped with a new text message. It was from The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.) and it simply said “On my way to you!” She arrived a short time later…
Truth In Advertising
All I want is a little online street cred. Is that too much to ask? Online dating is an imperfect science. Heck, it may not even be a science. The more I think about it, it’s kind of a crapshoot. Most of us put a lot of time and effort into building a profile on…
The 36-Year-Old Virgin
“So…You gonna try and tap it?” She had one of those perma-smiles on her face as she walked into my office for the first time. We met online and had chatted a few times before deciding to go out and tonight was the night. As she sat down at my desk I had no clue…
Christmas With P.S.O.
Sometimes I’m just a douche… It’s now a couple weeks into dating the Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.) and things seem to be going well. Her work schedule is busy at year-end and we were trying to get together on Wednesday for lunch in downtown Buffalo. I sent her an e-mail in the morning telling her…
The Phone Sex Operator
“Making sex is like a Chinese dinner: It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookies.” Old Man Dunphy, Outside Providence I once received a fortune cookie that read, “When you decide to stop searching, only then will you find what your heart desires.” That sounded a little corny, yet there was a hint of…
The Bookstore Chick
So my daughter picks up this woman for me at Barnes and Noble… I think that its hilarious to listen to some single dads complain about their weekend with the kids. They get all dramatic about this and that and how they were so exhausted and couldn’t wait to get the kids back to their…