As the Black Lives Matter movement continues across America, let’s keep in mind that the #MeToo movement has not gone away.
More than two years after #MeToo went viral on social media, sexual harassment, assault, and other degradation of women are still prevalent nationwide, even on the hallowed grounds of the U.S. Capitol.
The latest reminder that paternalism and misogyny are still a cultural pandemic comes from New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC). She delivered a consequential 10-minute speech in late July recounting how she was sexually harassed and accosted by a much older male Republican member of the House (see video below, which has received 16 million views on YouTube).
The Hill news website, which closely covers Congress and witnessed the ugly incident via direct observation from a reporter, wrote the following (in case you missed it on July 20, amid the whirlwind of other news):
- “Rep. Ted Yoho (R-Fla.) was coming down the steps on the east side of the Capitol on Monday, having just voted, when he approached Ocasio-Cortez, who was ascending into the building to cast a vote of her own.”
- “In a brief but heated exchange, which was overheard by a reporter, Yoho told Ocasio-Cortez she was ‘disgusting'”
- Yoho told AOC she was “out of your freaking mind” and called her a “fucking bitch,” among other sexist remarks.
In a speech on the House floor addressing Yoho’s sordid conduct, AOC said:
What I do have issue with is using women, wives and daughters as shields and excuses for poor behavior. . . Mr. Yoho mentioned that he has a wife and two daughters. I am two years younger than Mr. Yoho’s youngest daughter. . . I am someone’s daughter too. My father, thankfully, is not alive to see how Mr. Yoho treated his daughter.
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free
Here is my full response regarding Mr. Yoho and the culture of misogyny that inspired his actions.
I am deeply appreciative of my colleagues and everyone speaking up and out against the rampant mistreatment of women both in Congress and across the country. ⬇️ https://t.co/nFfxy5UdmP
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) July 23, 2020
***
A Message for Men
Let’s face it men: more of us need to proactively help to end the scourge of sexual harassment and assault. We must collectively stop being the main cause of the problem and start being part of the solution.
Men should help maintain and build upon the momentum of the #MeToo movement and Hollywood’s #TimesUp initiative, both of which have empowered women to break their silence about sexual harassment and assault. More men should join women in making their voices heard, rather than being silent bystanders.
That’s because silence by men who witness sexual harassment or assault is arguably akin to complicity. Therefore, men of good conscience should not allow themselves to be unwitting accomplices to male monsters who prey on women and girls. This means more men must start standing up and speaking out to support women regardless of political affiliation or ideology. This also means swiftly shaming and punishing male perpetrators for their despicable deeds, not to mention holding them accountable for sincerely apologizing.
As AOC observed, however, the fragile male ego too often gets in the way. The problem, she said, is that men are afraid that “their little man card will be taken away if they apologize for their absurd behavior” in denigrating women.
Too many men still view sexual harassment as nothing more than a laughing matter. But abusive behavior toward women is no joke. On the contrary, it’s outrageous that in today’s modern 21st-century workplace and society there are men who regularly treat women as second-class citizens strictly because of their gender.
That’s why more men must break their own silence about right and wrong by standing up and speaking out in support of women’s rights — including the right to be free from sexual harassment and assault. As fathers, sons, husbands, brothers, friends, and just good citizens, men have an inherent social and moral responsibility to forcefully address sex-based issues that are integral to the #MeToo movement. How? By sending an unequivocal message to other men that sexism will no longer be tolerated, whether overt or covert, conscious or unconscious, implicit or explicit.
Male Silence Breaker
Terry Crews is a male actor who was one of the few men in Hollywood to initially support #MeToo. Time magazine included Crews among the “Silence Breakers” who were named as “Person of the Year” for 2017. Ironically, part of his motivation for taking an outspoken public stand was due to being the victim of sex-based harassment by other men. According to Time, “Crews realized that men had a responsibility to lend credence and support to these women’s claims.
Almost without thinking through the consequences, Crews tweeted out his own story; in his viral series of tweets, he became one of the first men to join the chorus of women speaking out about harassment.” Time wrote that Crews clearly understood why “it’s imperative that men advocate for women’s rights.” He told Time: “I was really angry because these women were being discounted. These women were being discarded. Their pain was just—it was nothing…these women know they weren’t alone.” Crews deserves accolades for his bold and beneficial actions. More men must be put on notice that sexual harassment will not go unnoticed.
The bottom line, as stated by Crews, “Men need to hold other men accountable.” He explained:
I came up in the cult of masculinity, in football and the sports world and entertainment. You’re in places and guys are saying the wildest thing. People need to be called on that. You need to be held accountable for the things you say, the things you do.
Leading by Example
All men need to be more mindful about the sexual harassment epidemic and help to end it, speaking out both publicly and behind the scenes to other men, particularly those prone to committing such shameful behavior that ultimately give all men a bad name.
Men of good conscience and goodwill should not stay silent. Rather, more men should vociferously call out sexual harassers and perpetrators of sexual assault. Further, more employers should take stronger actions to proactively prevent hostile environments for working women.
Those men who need to speak out most include CEOs and public figures of all industries; it’s imperative that powerful men with national name recognition lead by example. Male leaders in all walks of life should set the tone from the top-down. That’s because only when powerful men start forcefully speaking out in defense of female victims, and against their male perpetrators, will the stubborn culture regarding sexual harassment and assault truly change.
In fact, it’s long overdue for more men to take responsibility by standing in allegiance with women. Everyone should know that violating the statutory rights of women in the workplace will no longer be tolerated in any industry under any circumstances.
Moreover, “Zero Tolerance” needs to be more than just empty rhetoric. It’s not enough for human resource officials and mid-level management to highlight employee handbooks periodically, if at all, and then put those written policies and procedures on a shelf to gather dust. Rather, such employment policies and procedures to prevent sexual harassment need to be revised and reiterated, as well as buttressed by annual or semi-annual training. Still, employers alone cannot be counted on to end this persistent problem. That’s why more men should send the following three-point message to their co-workers, colleagues, subordinates, friends, and family:
- Sexual harassment is a cowardly and reprehensible act.
- Any man who sexually violates the rights of women will be swiftly called out, ostracized and humiliated in public by their male colleagues.
- Not only will lewd behavior towards women no longer be condoned or ignored, but neither will retaliation and casting blame on victims.
***
Final Thoughts
Put simply, men of high moral character should call out men of weak moral character into being gentlemen. This means valuing and respecting women in the workplace and every other place.
As men, we must recall that victims of sexual harassment are our wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters. Further, it must be understood that unwanted sexual advances toward women should never be justified with cowardly excuses for boorish behavior, such as:
- It’s just lurid “locker room” conduct/talk,
- It’s just an immature attitude of horseplay, or
- It’s just a juvenile “boys will be boys” mentality.
A real culture shift to end sexual harassment entails a real mind shift among men.
Any long-lasting cultural change means it must become embedded within the norms, values, and moral fabric of society that sexual harassment is uncool, unseemly, unlawful and un-American. Men must come forward and prove that old-fashioned chivalry is not dead and, just as importantly, that morals and values really mean something.
Thus, men must refrain from crossing the vivid line at work separating conduct which is socially acceptable toward women versus behavior which is sordid and salacious. Moreover, men who intentionally cross the legal boundaries prohibiting sexual harassment and assault should always be held accountable and called out for it. Women in the workplace must always be treated by men with dignity and respect, from the C-suite to the factory floor.
Men should not blame victims of sexual harassment and assault for speaking out to assert their rights and report unlawful activity. Rather, men should join women in castigating perpetrators of sexual harassment and assault to help make the workplace and society a better place for everyone.
Women deserve no less.
—
This post was previously published on Linkedin.com.
—
You might also like Recognizing Workforce Harassment Beyond #MeToo
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Talk to you soon.
—
Photo credit: Unsplash.com
.