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It’s not that boys are the only ones who need to learn how to express their aggression in positive ways, but you generally don’t need to brainstorm ideas for how to keep your house from getting smashed to bits when you have 10 minutes of downtime with a girl. That said, I’m increasingly concerned with how society’s answer to natural male aggression is to suppress it.
When aggression is suppressed, it builds up pressure inside of a person for years and then explodes out in unpredictable ways. I think that’s a big reason why we have so many angry men shooting up yoga studios, synagogues, and schools. They’ve been forced to suppress a natural urge for decades.
How can we prevent these atrocities from happening? The first words out of any good liberal’s mouth, including my own, are “Gun control!” I truly believe in common-sense gun law reforms that will keep assault rifles out of the hands of angry men looking for release. But, how can we help these men from becoming so angry in the first place? I would argue that one way is to give them tools for healthy ways to express their aggression as children!
For five years I’ve been studying a small human male I co-created and have been pleasantly surprised at how many positive ways he’s found to act out his aggression. Of course, there are times I’ve been horrified at how many destructive ways he’s found to act it out, too. He hasn’t bitten me so hard it’s drawn blood yet, but he has come close.
If you have a young son, chances are you could use some ideas for how to help him let that aggression out and, hey, bonus: We can simultaneously redefine men’s roles in society without forcing our boys to stop being rough-and-tumble little men.
Here are 15 creative ideas to help your little guy act out his aggression in positive ways:
(Side-note: As his parent, you decide whether these activities are safe. They were safe for my little guy, but you know your kid’s limits better than I do!)
1. Invent creative ninja kicks for attacking a big bouncy ball.
2. Crack open hickory nuts with a hammer. (While wearing safety glasses!)
3. Punch spent garden plants to bed for the winter.
4. Have pillow fights.
5. Go on hunting trips. (My husband doesn’t get much hunting done, but they have fun!)
6. Make a hotel room obstacle course. (Set a chair between the beds and he will jump back and forth for hours.)
7. Cut scraps of drywall or foam insulation with a drywall saw. (This is sharp and pokey, so be careful!)
8. Play organized sports. (Mine won’t do this, but I hear lots of boys like to!)
9. Throw rocks into water.
10. Give him a nail board to hammer on. (Do this by half-nailing nails into a 2×4 and letting him go at it. Pro-tip: They make short-handled hammers, called “stubby claw” hammers that are great for this. Again, safety glasses are a must and make sure the nails aren’t long enough to go all the way through the board and into your floor!)
11. Have a dance party in the kitchen!
12. Give him paper and scissors and let him cut it to bits. (Bonus points, put the bits into an empty spice jar and give that to him for his kitchen set!)
13. Do a car-racing smashup challenge!
14. Jump on ice-covered puddles. (Hulk, smash!!)
15. Wrestle with a willing adult. (Watch those soft spots, there’s nothing like a kid jumping right on your stomach to end a wrestling match before it’s begun!)
Obviously this is not an exhaustive list, but hopefully, it’s exhausting enough to keep your son busy for most of a week! What did I miss? What are your favorite ways to help your son kick out some of that aggression? Please, leave a comment below and help us keep these boys busy!
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Photo credit: Shutterstock
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