Porn: The Key to All our Faults in Sex?

It isn’t about porn being morally wrong, it’s a question of what it might do to our self identity and sensibilities.

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This is not a “we mustn’t watch porn because it is morally wrong” rant. But I want to discuss an epidemic that’s occurring in our very own bedrooms. Chances are if you have ever browsed the world wide web, you have seen some sort of porn. But have you ever considered that porn is, in some ways, destroying a man’s sense of touch and feeling towards his partner?

It has made us into physically selfish lovers.

Imagination is the greatest thing we have as humans. It allows us to envision countless possibilities,  and ultimately their outcomes. Porn is exactly that. It places us into a situation in our minds with someone who we have zero emotion for. We are able to do whatever we want for a short period of time, and always leave with an exhausted grin on our faces. But isn’t that what we want as men? Do we not want to handle our lovers in a manner in which we see fit? The answer to those questions is not as clear cut as many believe.

Having sex is meant to be about you and your partners desires, and needs. Too many of us have the “me” factor, and we completely ignore what the other half wants. It’s easy isn’t it? It’s easy to be physically selfish. It’s easy to not touch your partner the way they want to be touched. What a lot of us don’t realize is that easy has been embedded into our minds in terms of sex, and that’s why we don’t truly satisfy our partners the way they deserve to be satisfied many of times.

Which leads me to my next point.

It has made us develop an ego that we can’t tame.

Men, it is time for us to stop acting like Christopher Columbus, Sinbad, and Marco Polo when it comes to sex. We are natural explorers, and want to place our flag onto anything that hasn’t been explored or discovered yet. Many of times we have had sex thinking we were the “Holy Grail” which our partners have been seeking.

Porn has played a large part in that concept. Never in porn do we see a disgruntled look on the person’s face when the intercourse was not good. We never see the instant look of regret when it is all done. We have been trained to believe that using porn techniques will satisfy any one at any time. I have spoken to many men across four continents, and there’s a common feature for many of us. We act as if we have mastered the art of sex. Allow that to sink in a little bit.

Not all of our partners are the same. Each have individual wants and needs when it comes to sex. Confidence in one’s self is attractive, and desirable. Your partner will know and feel it before sex ever occurs. But if you walk into the bedroom as if you can walk on water, you might want to get ready to have your ego drowned in not the kindest way.

Which leads me to my final point.

Don’t be afraid to ask.

In school and in our careers we are taught that if we don’t know the answer to a question we should simply ask for advice. So why are we not doing this in the bedroom? You, and I are neither mind readers, nor do we have the ability to know what somebody wants when we first have sex with them.

Many men out there in the world believe asking a person’s advice on sex takes away their so-called “man card.” Forget the concept of the “man card.” Forget the notion that you’re too proud to ask for advice from your partner on how to satisfy them. This is your sex life we are talking about. The time for ego, and the “I know it all” mindset is over. Let’s push it to the side, and give our partners the affection that they actually desire and deserve, and not what we think they desire.

Most women, and men’ don’t think porn is bad, and don’t mind if you watch it. But what a lot of your partners do mind is when you treat them like a porn star.

Treat them like an individual, and know what their boundaries are. I promise, in the end, it makes all the difference in the bedroom. Most importantly, just have fun. It’s just sex

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